One plainchant whinge coming up.
I shall try to recount the events of the past few days as they relate to my health, but frankly my memory is full of holes these days.
My assistant having left last soggy Sunday, it is left up to me to do things like bring in wood. It was raining the first half of the week so nothing was happening then. Still had the ‘standard’ symptoms, and then things got a little odd.
Thinking the nightmares might be related to one type of pain killer I switched to another – and got new problems. Here it was Thursday (I think) and I was feeling pretty sick suddenly; numbness in my lips, shivering, face and eye pain … just really terrible without the usual signs of having a cold. Not having any assistance from the medical profession at hand (really they haven’t done anything for this for nine years now) all I could think of was that my nervous system is affected by constant bombardment of pain killers as well as a constant bombardment of pain. If this makes no sense remember it’s the thinking of someone who is frankly a little unstable due to the symptoms. Or something.
I also noticed when taking pictures in the dark that I’m unstable on my feet at ground level now. I don’t hold still and it seems like the world swims around me at times. Daylight is different; somehow the visual cues cut in and my lack of balance is compensated for. I should try standing still with my eyes shut and see if I fall over.
Anyway, pretty obviously something is wrong, has been for years, and is getting worse. I don’t know how often I’ve recounted that to doctors but all I get for feedback at best is agreement on symptoms.
So Friday events transpire that I must go out to the cabin and get the remaining logs sliced and brought in before the weekend rain. Oh, also a couple of tables someone wants. I hook up the trailer and go to do it.
Oh boy. It isn’t that much wood (about 1/2 a cord) but it takes forever. Cut, rest, load, rest, cut, rest, load, rest … over and over. It takes 2,987 days. Okay, about three hours really. And I’m amazed it’s only that.
Started with unloading the wheelbarrow that was left full of dirt and blocking the back door. Now full of water too, which means it weighs a lot and needs tipping out and then dumping. This so I can get inside and take the legs off the two tables and load them into the Xterra. That takes longer than it should. Then I get on with the wood.
Well I did it and brought it home and the person who wanted the tables … only wanted the one. Thanks. I needed that extra work. Came over right away and got it, but really it could have waited until the next day when I was able to stand up again. There went Friday; too tired to eat, too painful to sleep.
Saturday rain held off while I unloaded the wood. Hoorah! It took three goes with a lot of increasingly longer rest periods between rounds. And that ended that day.
Now, to understand this you need a frame of reference. Last fall when I was harvesting wood I’d go out and load up the trailer with rounds (slicing logs already brought in from the forest previously) and bring it home and then unload it. All in one day. No problem. Now it takes me two days to do the same and there’s a lot more resting between efforts and a lot worse results afterward.
Sunday. Feeling sick. Missed sleep again in the night. Had to take extra antacid pill. Naprosyn didn’t do much for the pain, but then neither did the 10mg cyclobenzaprine I took Friday. Slept in even later than before. Pain in the joints and of course the legs which won’t go away no matter what I try. This makes me think the leg pain isn’t muscular or even neural. But what do I know?
I know I’ve got to be able to get up early enough Tuesday to go to the dentist. I know I’ve got to go back to the forest several more times and haul in a lot more logs and slice them up and bring the rounds home and stack them.
I don’t know how I’m going to do this.
And as for next year …