Whadda, howda, ohda.

We don’t all look alike, nor do we all see alike.

Some of the soon-to-vanish-for-some-reason work of an artist I’ve known for a very long time:

Snapshots, silliness, and serious art.

There are gems in there that I would love to pick out and present as some sort of Great Exhibition, but as with so many things there is no point or purpose in doing so and thus no impetus either. Jennifer Jems or something. (She’d understand; she’s nearly as nutty as me.)

Anyhow the weird thing is to finish and confirm my diagnosis I’d need a blood test, neurological exam, and muscle biopsy. Such would involve going to one of two ‘nearby’ hospitals, both of which have COVID outbreaks and so … Good thing it doesn’t matter (there’s not even a treatment, never mind a cure). But what I could do with a confirmation is … well that probably wouldn’t help either. I can see the uncertain future before me and can think of contingency plans for dealing with it, but none is easy. It was no help finding out that the noise in my ear is due to the timpanic muscle spasming like any (and all) others do.

I’m looking ahead with uncertainty. So much to do and can’t even count on the weather.

Is that a flying fish?

Addendum; Monday’s COVID-19 update included the information that basically we have no vaccine nor will have any for the next five weeks at least. Meanwhile the outbreak in our area is still active. What happened to the 70 million doses Trudeau bought from the Chinese? Oh yes; they never existed in the first place.

In essence it is almost a certainty now that we will contract the disease and in all likelihood expire from it. I’m literally going to die because of other people’s stupidity. Seriously.

I can’t believe the future I’m seeing at this moment in time.

More (medical) Monday?

Latest guess: Inclusion Body Myositis. Not that it matters as there is no treatment beyond “adapt”. Yeah I’ll just change everything about my life because I can so afford to do that.

It’s real. Make sure your battery is fulling, okay?

I “missed out” on an Ebay purchase when the seller did a ‘sock puppet’ bid – and got stuck with it. There was an immediate “second chance offer” – which I am ignoring. Eat it. I’m not happy about the number of crooks on there.

Hand-held test shot: the lens is not sharp.

Another purchase didn’t work out so well when the lens which was supposed to be PK turned out to be CY and the seller is offering all of $10 for his error. It would cost him 3X that for the return shipping to honour the refund. I can see that’s not going to go well either.

Another hand-held shot; very ‘filmy’.

I’m so tired today I’d rather be dead. Sleep was interrupted despite extra medication and this was on top of having to split wood. Something has to give, preferably not my knees.

Tomorrow had better be better. Oh no, it won’t be: I have to go to town.

Bugger.

 

MRIonday.

It was actually Thursday, but I save this stuff up for Monday so no one has to look at it.

It was actually Thursday evening, because once they get the MRI machine revved up they keep it going as long as they can. So I drop off the dogs and make the 2+ hour drive into the heat of the Big City. Really; it was like passing through the gates of Hell. Always warmer there than out in the high-elevation country where I live.

Tried to do some shopping on the way to the motel, but the stores weren’t having it. In fact I discovered that one of my favourite snacks is no longer carried by anyone. Why? Because the universe doesn’t like people being happy so it does everything it can to make us miserable, like taking away any small pleasures we might have.

Check in, watch some TV, marvel at how awful it still is and congratulate myself on not having any form of TV service for years now. Not only do I not miss it, there’s nothing to miss. Newton Minnow thought it was a “vast wasteland” decades ago. He had no idea just how inane it could become. 500 channels of pure video dross.

Eventually I wandered over to the hospital and made my way to the MRI department. After hours service is a bit dicey, as there’s no one around to direct you except the cleaning staff. Fortunately this hospital has really good staff at all levels. In fact I’ve only ever encountered one bad employee there, and she got fired. Well I barely had time to catch my breath (literally) before it was time for the test.

Turned out they were going to use the dye, which explains why they tested for creatinine; to make sure my kidneys work. They do, after a fashion. Then into the machine!

Now, they warn you about it being claustrophobia-inducing. No problem. They warn you about the noise. No problem, although the ear plugs they give you do little to alleviate that situation. They warn you about having to lie as still as possible for an hour. Ah, a small problem when you have muscles that act independently, but I can cope. They don’t warn you it’s bloody boring!

Beep! Boop! Tweet! Ratta-tat-tat! Gronk! Gronk! Zing! Loudly. For half an hour. Lie still? Kind of hard when the whole machine is shaking from the noises it makes (actually the noise is from the shaking). Then they stick the dye in and do it again. I’m pretty sure my hearing hasn’t recovered fully yet. There’s room for improvement there, as the noise is a result of vibration induced by the magnetic field. In non-engineering terms, the thing is trying to shake itself apart.

So we have this test which manages to be annoying and boring at the same time. If that isn’t a triumph of technology, what is? In fact it’s a metaphor for society as a whole. One which can be extended to the results which are neither forthcoming nor positive. I expected I’d see them come up on my e-health report, but not a word so far. Well, it is the weekend. When I finally do find out what they found out it will probably be nothing. I have every confidence the trip was a waste of time, effort, and money – just the same as always.

Anyway I didn’t sleep well that night. Messed up schedule and all that. I could have taken a pill, but didn’t want to make the drive back while hungover from the medication. Instead I got up and got out of the city and got back and … failed to get a nap in. Now I’m feeling extra sleep-deprived which I already had enough of to begin with.

Also I’m on tenterhooks waiting results I’m pretty sure won’t be helpful.

The city may be hell, but life is limbo.