Number 5 Dream

Taken with the worst camera I have*.

You are about to enter another dimension. – Rod Serling

Going ’round and ’round the out-of-control whirligig we call “life” …

Concentrate. Focus. Keyword: focus. Nope; got none o’ that.

So I have been looking at things, albeit blurrily of course. Videos, cameras, finances, realities. Yes, plural on that last one as I’m pretty sure I live in a different one from everyone else and mine only sort of intersects with theirs in the same way you can get cross-over frequency interference on an old stereo. (Don’t expect this to make sense. You didn’t expect it to make sense, did you?)

There was this video with a title like “Five Tips From My Five Years Of Photography”. Gee, should I do something like that? It’d have to have a slightly different title. Something like “More Than Fifty Tips From My More Than Fifty Years Of Photography”. Fortunately for everyone I don’t do video.

But it was amusing as were several other of that content provider’s videos, many of which had to do with cameras laughingly labelled as “affordable”. This is where the realities conflict because it seems other people’s “affordable” is my “costs more than the entire photographic arsenal I already have”.

Oh gosh it’s not just cameras either: lots of “affordable” things out there that look like everyone but me has the kind of unlimited disposable income normally only available to governments. Basically I see it as bragging you paid 7 times as much as a thing is worth. Kind of odd, really.

Plenty of examples of another pet peeve of mine to: that companies are in business to make profits, not products. This is why the CEO of, say, a soft drink company can become the CEO of a computer company next week: the product doesn’t matter, only the profit. When the driving force behind design is “what can we get people to buy that we can make huge amounts of money off from?” instead of “let’s make the best [noun] we possibly can” you get a market full of crap, a society of unhappy consumers, and landfills that rival Everest in height.

Also taken with the worst camera I have*.

To camera makers I would say this (if they would listen, which they won’t): There are FIVE things on a camera that need to have dedicated controls: aperture, focus, ISO, shutter, and zoom (if applicable). Oh you can have automatic override for any/all of them, but ultimately these are the things photographers adjust often when making pictures. If you want to go for six add exposure compensation because sometimes cameras don’t get that right (since they think all scenes average out to 18% reflective gray). Everything else you put on a camera is frippery. Most of those wonderful ‘features’ you include never get used.

To photographers I would say: you know what I just said is true. And if you really want to learn photography you should start with film if at all possible, or the closest digital equivalent to film that you can get. Why do I say this? Because I see a lot of professional photographers out there who are making a living by sheer luck with little to no understanding of the technical aspects, and I don’t just mean they failed to learn about infrared and the visible spectrum. These days “pro” seems to mean “obsessed with background blur to the extent that they only shoot wide open and end up disregarding the actual subject of the photo”. Don’t ask me how they get away with it.

Then again this weird reality you people are stuck in contains experts who think taking vodka off the shelf will stop a war. Hmm. Maybe not buying the vodka from an unstable dictatorship in the first place could have prevented the war?

Or people who praise the “science in Futurama” because they fail to recognize it is a cartoon and it is sending up the science in science-fiction; the actual laws of physics dictating that most of the things depicted are not possible. That’s the difference between sci-fi and fantasy; fantasy calls magic magic, not science.

Well I have some ideas for the time ahead to try and keep myself distracted from various horrors like losing further eyesight and not being able to afford food. Something of a long, strange trip which I will include you on if you’re foolish enough to hop on my metaphorical converted school bus.

Ride along. (Kodak V1003)

*Panasonic Lumix ZS60, which really is not a good camera.

2 thoughts on “Number 5 Dream

  1. Hi Marc I gotta say I love your humour on things relating to life…. you had me chuckling like the laughing policeman.. ( look it up… laughing policeman at Blackpool UK…)… as for the want regarding controls… your wish is fulfilled by Fujifilm … even the small XE1 I use as a “walkabout camera” has all the controls you mention at hand… all packed into the size of a normal point and shoot…. can’t wait to see what journey you take us on…. Take care my friend… keep your chin up as they say over here in the UK…. and remember… “Tomorrow will be a good day”… ( see Capt Tom Moore )…. Kind regards Marc… Lynd…

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    1. Oh yes, Lynd; Fuji has some nice cameras with film-like controls. Unfortunately I have no easy access to any variety of them thanks to ego-Bay banning me without reason. From the sources I have got they are basically $1,000+ and usually without lens! In fact I have one Fuji camera: the tiny F80 EXR. Short-pocket sized and takes wonderful point-and-shoot pictures. No viewfinder though, so when I use it I just sort of aim it in the general direction and hope for the best.
      Ah well, more adventures to come. Whether we like it or not.

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