Anticipation

It’s all about tomorrow. But it starts days ago with the chaos before the chaos.

Tomorrow I go to Kamloops for some medical testing and another doctor visit and some shopping (because you don’t drive for 2+ hours and stay overnight and not take full advantage, okay?) I don’t expect much positive outcome from this trip. In fact I expect to feel destroyed by it. I’ve had a head start.

It’s been hot lately, and unlike my younger self I no longer deal with heat well. For example I was going to go out to the cabin and mow the weeds down this weekend, but I’ve canceled those plans because it’s too hot to think about the loading up, the driving, the unloading, the mowing, the loading up, the driving … Never mind doing it.

Now in the meantime Good Friend Wife is running around metaphorically in a rush planning of a trip to England because the situation there with her aged sister has gone wahoonie-shaped. Nothing like a big tank full of stress washing over your life to make you feel like you’re drowning. It’s a little chaotic right now.

Okay so here’s me dealing with the usual day-to-day stuff plus planning my trip. So far I’ve got … nothing. I should be making a list of where I need to go and what I need to do there. I have the appointments and the motel jotted down. It’s going to be close to check in at 2:00 and then be at the hospital within 30 minutes. That seems to be occupying my mind. No list of things to get has been written, and I’m not silly enough to think “oh, I’ll remember”. No, I’d better make a note of every thing I mean to check up on no matter how inconsequential. Oddly the adrenaline is keeping the nerves firing somewhat better than usual. Hah! I can’t wait ’til that dies down and I crash like the Hindenburg. In the meantime it is artificially suppressing the symptoms. Oh great.

Oh and then while Mrs. is away for 3 weeks I’ll be doing all the stuff she does around here (except I ignore the phone rather than answer it) and looking after myself, 2 dogs, and 3 cats. This makes for some logistical difficulties as leaving the dogs on their own isn’t a great idea.

But wait, wasn’t I going to go out to the cabin and stay and work on that? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! There’s another Summer shot to hell.

And good grief I’ll have to do some pre-planning for here to ease things when she’s not about to keep the zoo under control.

Yeah I was going to do some photography and I’d been idly looking and pleasant things to play with maybe and …

Also a good used tractor just came up for sale locally at a reasonable price. It’s one of the things I need. Yes; need. It would make several chores, like wood harvesting, easier. No way can I fit buying that into the schedule or finances now (hey, they tripled our property taxes – wasn’t that nice of them?) And we just paid $$$ to have the septic tank pumped too.

Did I mention the mosquitoes? There’s lots of them all over the place.

Just … what do I have to deal with today? Can I get that done?

You know, it really isn’t a good idea to tighten bolts past their tensile strength. That’s what I feel like right now.

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